...Uncertain...

*Angsty Rambling Alert*

Heh, I've kinda neglected blogging for a while. Mostly because of what I censor myself on, and how there's not much else to say.

Two of my friends are really depressed, and its just getting to me quite a bit sometimes. I mean, me and one of them had a long talk earlier tonight when I got her to her house after dropping off who would seem to be the more depressed friend, and, it was a little bit of relief, but, at the same time, it indicated that there's a long way to go... For both of them...

And it stems from people not caring. And from having trust and affection slammed right back in their face. Some people so much in such a way that it makes them completely skeptical about love, and about other people. I know I sometimes feel that way still, especially when the memories from my last relationship come to mind... hearing someone say they really like you, and then they completely cast you out of their life like a pile of garbage...... Or in other people's cases, being cheated on. Things of that sort.

Granted, since the summer I've come to loosen up quite a bit and trust people more with just casual things / not care what they think or not worry about if it may come back to bite me in the ass later. While part of me is always yearning for company, the kind of company that makes you feel complete. The kind of company that depressed people perceive as never going to happen... Even though I've got the voice of emotionless-reason in my head telling me how naive and foolish I'm being.

But, it's the only way to have a hope of having a life. Which, for me essentially boils down to: School, Blogging, Rare hang outs with friends after school, and Mike's Message Board. And hoping for more. You just gotta keep going, no matter how hard the pain, no matter how uncertain your future seems.. You just gotta keep your chin up. Just have to keep hoping, and enjoy what you have as best you can instead of downing yourself over what you're missing...or you'll miss so much more..

Even if it means rambling a little bit incoherantly into a blog to vent and retain some resemblance of sanity. Heh.